WHEN WILL THE CONFEDERATE SOLDIER BE FORGOTTEN?
"When the lion eats grass like an ox,
And the gallinipper swallows the whale;
When the terrapin knits woolen socks,
And the hare is outrun by the snail.
When serpents walk upright like men,
And doodle bugs travel like frogs;
When grasshoppers feed on the hen,
And feathers are found on the hogs.
When Thomas cats swim in the air,
And elephants roost upon trees;
When insects in summer are rare,
And snuff never makes people sneeze.
When fish creep over dry land,
And mules on bicycles ride;
When foxes lay eggs in the sand,
And women in dress take no pride.
When Dutchmen no longer drink beer,
And girls get to preaching on time;
When billy goats butt from the rear,
And treason is no longer a crime.
When the humming bird brays like a donkey,
And limburger smells like cologne;
When plowshares are made out of monkeys,
And the hearts of Alabamians are stone."
-By Mr. James Barson in Age Herald, June 9th, 1908.
The preceding is from an e-book, Recollections of War Times by an Old Veteran while under Stonewall Jackson and Lieutenant General James Longstreet; How I Got In, and How I Got Out, published in Montgomery (Paragon Press, 1909). You can find the whole book at www.civilwarancestor.com/STORE/files/Ebook0067.htm